This Ain't Your Grandma's School

Your “Secret Subject” is: What is your opinion on changes happening in our schools? Transgender bathrooms? Changes in math curriculum? No cursive? It was submitted by: https://batteredhope.blogspot.com 

I was playing Pokemon with my husband downtown last week. We went into a little "odds-n-ends" type store to look around while we were waiting for other people to show up. The jewelry display by the door caught my eye and I found mood ring fidget rings! They have an outer piece that spins around AND changes color according to your mood! And they were only $1.99!!! I picked up two. Henry and Frances are both fidgeters. Henry likes to have something to keep his hands busy, but often gets in trouble because he gets too busy with stuff. I thought it wold be good if he had something relatively small and inconspicuous that he could fiddle with.

I bought the rings and put them on my fingers to keep track of them. When we got outside I showed them off to our Pokemon friends. One of the guys made a comment about how "if teachers could keep kids more engaged, we wouldn't need things like that." It kind of irked me a little bit. I know there are problems in schools. There are things that I am not totally happy with too, but overall I think teachers are hard workers, doing the best that they can for their students.

I think teachers today are teaching in a very different world than they themselves were taught in. Heck, I was a teacher 13 years ago, and I don't recognize a lot of things. I am aware of the fact that there is a lot of politicking in education, but I also think that most of the changes that have been made are research driven.

Transgender bathrooms? I think that if we can give students a safe place to pee, we should. I feel ridiculous even typing that. A "transgender bathroom" is nothing more than a single stalled bathroom. It's private. I don't care what parts you have; when you gotta go, you gotta go. And lots of kids feel uncomfortable in group bathrooms. Haven't hit that growth spurt yet in middle school? Get made fun of. Puberty hit you earlier than your peers? Get made fun of. Hand-me-downs and thrift store specials? Get made fun of. Fart too loud or smelly? Get made fun of. You know where it's easy to make fun of kids? In the bathrooms, where teachers don't hang out! The younger you are, the more likely the teacher is to be standing just outside the door and checking on things, but she's got two bathrooms to keep track of, plus the group of kids waiting in the hallway. And once you hit middle and high school, those bathrooms can be a free-for-all! I don't care where you pee, just flush and wash your hands when you're done! If kids want a more private place to go to the bathroom, who does that hurt?

Changes in math? Hoo boy! I am re-learning how to factor polynomials and how to use the Pythagorean Theory. With one kid in advanced 6/7 math and one in Honors Geometry there are a lot of days when I feel lost trying to help with homework. Some of it I don't remember and some of it I remember a different way. That's okay. I don't know all the ins and outs of the "new math" people like to complain about, but the process makes sense to me. Instead of having kids memorize facts and formulae, teachers are helping kids to understand the why of math. It's harder and it often looks funny, but it sticks better. The US is pretty far behind in terms of math and science compared to the rest of the world and we've done lots of research to figure out why. This is the response.

Writing in cursive? My kids still had some lessons in it. Their cursive isn't all that pretty, but then whose is? There are some benefits to penmanship and fine motor skills. I get that. But I also understand that we don't write things by hand as often as we used to. Case in point, I'm typing this on a computer. And typing much better than I ever expected to be able to. Because I type all day. And my kids type way more than I ever did in school. Frances just got a Chrome Book, so she's typing a lot of her assignments and sharing them with her teachers in her Google Drive. It's faster, easier, and better for the environment! Kids won't be able to read the Constitution? Google it! I can't read the Bible in the original Hebrew of Greek, but that doesn't stop me from getting my hands on a translation.

There are lots of changes in education (and society). The ones we hear about are often misrepresented and posted by someone with an agenda. Then they get passed along by people who don't bother to look into it and all of a sudden we've got all of Facebook up in arms that no one says the Pledge anymore. Don't get me started on that one!! (My kids all say the Pledge every morning at school.)

I truly believe that teachers are some of the hardest working people out there. They work hard against a multitude of obstacles. They do research, they collaborate, they give up their personal time and money to help our kids. I am eternally thankful for the teachers my kids have had, the education professors I work with, and the pre-service teachers I get to interact with on a daily basis. Take a minute today to thank a teacher! I guarantee you'll make their day!

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 8 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
The Bergham Chronicles
The Blogging 911
Cognitive Script
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Climaxed 
Part-Time Working Hockey Mom

My President

I'm not one to talk politics; publicly or privately. It seems like those kinds of conversations never go anywhere good. There's not very many things that people can universally agree on. And, that's okay. It takes all kinds. Well, maybe almost all kinds!

Absolute Requirements

I think there might be a few things we can all agree on. The president should be human. No space aliens allowed. Right?

The president should be a grown up. There could be some wiggle room in the exact age, but I don't think anyone would argue that a toddler should be in charge of anything!

I also think the president should speak English (that rules out toddlers too!). Our country doesn't have an official language, but English is spoken by most people, so the president should definitely be able to communicate that way.

The president should be alive. I know zombies are all the rage in movies and TV right now, but I don't think the undead would make good leaders.

Preferred Qualities

Here's where we might have some disagreement. In my opinion, the president should be intelligent, both academically and emotionally. This person needs to be able to think deep thoughts and understand complex concepts. The president should also be good at reading people, understanding what makes them tick.

The president should be someone who is willing to consider lots of differing viewpoints. I highly respect people who are able to make decisions that are best for the others and not necessarily the best for them personally. It's like when a parent really wants the last cookie, but lets their kid have it instead.

The president should have life experience. Privilege is hard to recognize if everyone around you has had similar experiences and backgrounds. The president should be someone who has interacted with lots of different kinds of people all over the country and all over the world!

The president should have a good moral compass. I won't advocate for any one specific belief system, but I believe that the leader of our country should have a basic respect for life and human dignity. I understand that these concepts themselves can come into conflict from time to time, but if our leader is acting with compassion for people over love of self or money, then I would be okay with that.

Our president should also be humble. It's a high profile job, but I don't think it should be done for the glory of it. I think it should be a job for someone who truly wants to serve and make the country a better place.

Find me this person, and I'll join the campaign team!!


This has been a Secret Subject Swap. This week 9 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
Cognitive Script
The Lieber Family Blog
The Bergham Chronicles
Southern Belle Charm
The Blogging 911
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Climaxed
My Brand of Crazy

My subject was "Who would you like to see as President of the US and why?" It was submitted by The Blogging 911.

My Nobel Prize

"Family, friends, co-workers (haha),
I am here to express my thanks for all of your support through the nomination process until now. I wouldn't be standing here without your support and your understanding.

First I would especially like to thank my parents. They brought me in to the world and raised me in such a way that I hope they are proud of me standing here today. My brothers, as well, were with me on this journey and I should probably admit that I learned much of what I know from their example.

Next I'd like to express my appreciation to my husband and my children. There were certainly some rough times where we weren't really sure that this was worth it. Sleepless nights, worry, and stress. These things could have broken a lesser person, but with you all to back me up, I was able to stick with it.

Lastly, to my co-workers I acknowledge my gratitude. You all have stood by me through the questions, the deadlines, the meetings, and more. I truly wouldn't be here today, accepting this Nobel Prize for Goofing Off without you.

Hey! Wait a minute! Where are you taking me?! Why are all the things from my desk boxed up like that? What's going on here?? What do you mean there's no Nobel Prize for Goofing Off?? I won this award fair and square!! I worked so...I mean, I earned, Well I...Never mind. I get it. It's a set up. I should have known better than to accept an award for Goofing Off."

<END SCENE>


Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 10 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
Cognitive Script
The Blogging 911
The Bergham Chronicles
Southern Belle Charm
Bookworm in the Kitchen
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Part-time Working Hockey Mom
Climaxed

My subject is "Congratulations on your Nobel Prize! Which one did you win, and why?!" It was submitted by: http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

Wild Wild West

It's Secret Subject Swap time!!!!!

This is so exciting! I love getting a random subject to blog about. Don't tell Karen, but I often don't even open the prompt until the day before the posts are due. I think it's more fun that way. I've had a million bucks to spend on frivolous things, a chance to travel through time and have dinner with historical people, and even the chance to re-do a moment in my history. I can't wait to see what kind of adventure I get this time...

Oh. OK, well this is a bit deeper than I was expecting. I might have to do a bit of research. "Vigilantism" is kind of a big word to be using during a holiday week, dontcha think?

The first thing I thought of when I read this prompt (after the initial panic, of course) is the TV show Bones. I don't actually watch a lot of TV, but this is one show I actually watched pretty regularly. It's a crime/detective type show and the main character, Bones, is a forensic anthropologist. Bones' character was a very pragmatic person and she always cautioned those she worked with not to bend laws. In order for the system to work correctly, we need to trust the system to work correctly. That's not how she said it, but that's the gist of it.

I mostly believe that. There are lots of instances where I've found myself telling me kids, "Trust me. If you do it this way it will work out just fine." They, of course, don't listen and have to go about doing things the hard way. But that's sometimes a good way to learn...as long as you do learn something from it.

I have said before that I am usually a naive optimist. I believe in and trust good people and good outcomes because that is how I operate. I've been burned more in the past 18 months than ever before and gotten pretty down about it, though. I still try really hard to believe in the basic goodness of people, so I want to trust the system and have faith that it will work as designed.

The problem I'm am seeing more and more often is that unless everyone has faith in the system and let's it work the way that it's intended, the process just won't hold up. 

Now I don't think that we should always be taking matters into our own hands and working in between the lines. That's anarchy and I don't think it's a viable system. I firmly believe that we should be looking out for those who cannot look out for themselves: children, the elderly, the infirm, etc. As a 5 foot tall woman, I'm pretty certain I don't come out on top of a "might makes right" scenario!

Looking back at history, I think there have definitely been times when people needed to take things into their own hands: the American Revolution, Rosa Parks refusing to give up her bus seat, many other historical options I am unqualified to cite because I suck at history! But I wouldn't call those people vigilantes. I would say that they stood up to unfair laws to prove a point. And history has vindicated their actions. 

I think that when there is a wrong to be righted, we have to try really hard to work through legal means first. After that has been proven not to work, then maybe it's acceptable to start exploring other options. I don't want to live in the Wild West where every body takes every thing into their own hands, and that's the image that vigilante justice brings to mind for me.

How about you? Do you think vigilantism is ever justified?

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap.

This week 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado http://www.BakingInATornado.com
Cognitive Script https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/
The Blogging 911 http://theblogging911.com/blog
The Lieber Family Blog http://thelieberfamily.com
The Bergham Chronicles http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com
Simply Shannon http://shannonbutler.org
Southern Belle Charm http://www.southernbellecharm.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope http://batteredhope.blogspot.com
The Angrivated Mom http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com/
Not That Sarah Michelle http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com
Bookworm in the Kitchen http://www.bookwormkitchen.com/
Part-time Working Hockey Mom http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/
Climaxed http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

Senior Moments

I have a horrible memory. Have I said that before? I don't really remember! LOL!

High school? I remember bits and pieces. I remember people. Some of that is aided by Facebook now. And the fact that I had my 20 year high school reunion last summer.

I took a government class where the teacher had us copy down current events each day and then quizzed us on them each Friday. I remember frantically going over the bits and blurbs at the end of the week. Looking back I think he was trying to teach us to follow the news, but I never picked up on that at that age. I wish I had.

I had an Advanced English class. We read a lot and wrote a lot, but I honestly don't remember much of the content of the class. Except I can't stand John Steinbeck. I had to write a report on him. Even today I'm not sure if I dislike him because of the assignment or if the assignment was difficult because I didn't like him.

I had a Physics class. Was that senior year? That teacher was a HIPPIE! In a good way. We liked her. We threw eggs off the press box in the stadium to see if we could protect them from breaking. Frances did a similar experiment in fifth grade that caused some flashbacks.

Calculus? I think I took that senior year. I had always liked math until imaginary numbers popped up. At that point I was pretty sure it was all made up! Seriously, they are called imaginary numbers!

I sang in the choir. I always loved choir. It's one of my favorite overall high school memories. I wasn't an especially good or confident singer, but I've always loved singing. My dad always requests his favorite song Far, Far Away. As in, "Can you sing far, far, away?" Funny!


I had a boyfriend. We went to prom. I think that was the year my mom had my dress custom made. That was an elegant experience. The material was like butter! I think we broke up shortly after prom that year. He had moved away to another state.

I played soccer. I was on the boys' team because there wasn't a girls' team. The coach was kinda a jerk to me. The other boys were too. I thought I kept up pretty well for a five foot tall girl playing against a lot of bigger, taller guys. I enjoyed the sport. And I enjoyed annoying them. I guess that part of my personality hasn't changed.

Was that the year of Channel One news and obsessions over that news caster, Rawley Valverde? The guy we called Greased Lightning? My mom still has a cleaner by that name and I laugh every time I see it! Lisa Ling got her start there. And Anderson Cooper too. We got autographed pictures from some of them! I probably have the packed away in a box in my parents' house!

LOL! The magic of Facebook friends!!

Was that the year we kidnapped Mary Katherine for her birthday? We smuggled her into the back of the car and took off. At the time, we thought it was so funny and she had no idea. Looking back, she probably knew the whole time. She might have been less than amused by the bag over her head.

Was that the year we snuck a toilet seat out of the girls' bathroom? Becky, do you still have that?! It was loose and not that hard to remove. But then we had to sneak it out of the school. I'm pretty sure we remembered to clean it before we wrapped it up as a birthday present, right?? Please tell me we washed it! Whose picture did we frame with it?

It's funny that when I sit down to think about it, I remember more than I thought I had. I still had to dig through Facebook to jog my memory a bit. We didn't have Facebook when I was in high school (thank goodness!) but I have reacquainted myself with a lot of my classmates on there since then.

What are your favorite high school memories?


Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
Baking In A Tornado
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Spatulas on Parade
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Simply Shannon
The Bergham Chronicles
Confessions of a part time working mom
Not That Sarah Michelle
Southern Belle Charm
The Angrivated Mom
When I Grow Up
Climaxed

My subject is “Let's go back to high school for a moment. Tell us about your senior year....fave teachers, classes, memories, etc. It was submitted by: The Angrivated Mom.

A Collection of Cat Stories and Food Stories, but only one cat food Story

I love doing Secret Subject Swaps! There are some really creative prompts that I've been given. Sometimes they stir up some profound feelings and I write very serious things. Sometimes they are funny and I get to tell or make up funny stories. And once in a while my brain just doesn't quite connect with the prompt and I have to go rogue. This is one of those times.

The Strawberry Cake

Ask my mom what someone's favorite birthday cake is and she'll confidently reply "chocolate cake/chocolate icing." The problem is...that's her favorite, not everyone else's!! We laugh about it a lot. And it's worked out pretty well for her when people have actually gotten that combo on their birthdays.

One year, back in college, I asked my brother what kind of cake he wanted and it turned out he liked strawberry cake with strawberry frosting. So I set about to make that exact combo for him...from scratch...while I was in college. It wasn't an easy feat since I didn't have all the baking tools I have now. But I did it. I have baked and decorated a very nice strawberry cake with strawberry frosting for my brothers' birthday. I was headed up to his apartment for a visit the weekend of his birthday and planning bringing it with me.

I went upstairs to finish packing my bags. I packed up the car and got ready to head out. I went back to the kitchen to get the cake and found...

My roommate's cat, on the counter, happily licking the frosting off the cake!

I screamed at that cat (who had quite the history of hi-jinks). My roommates came and apologized. The cat wasn't supposed to be out of their room anyway! I was fuming! But it was time to leave.

I had no choice but to cut off the half of the cake the cat had sampled and pack up the other half. That was the year my brother got half a cake for his birthday. But at least it wasn't a chocolate/chocolate combo, right?!

The Broccoli Soup

This past Sunday when we went to the grocery store the kids were mad because I had not let them have an impromptu playdate after church. I didn't feel the need to placate them for not going along with plans they had never informed me of, but I did want to have a peaceful day. I asked each kid to pick out what they wanted for dinner some time this week and I would make it for them.

Frances immediately asked for a taco night. That's my girl! I happily obliged, since that's easy and delicious.

Henry never gave me a complete answer, but he did request Brussels sprouts, so I bought him some of those.

Benjamin looked around the produce department and requested broccoli soup.

ME: You want to eat broccoli soup?
Ben: Yes.
Me: Last time we had it, you said it was yuck!
Ben: But I like it!
Me: If I buy broccoli and make soup, you will eat it? Promise?
Ben: Yes.

We had taco night on Monday and during our dinner conversation and reminded Benjamin of his request. I once again affirmed that he had asked for broccoli soup and he once again assured me that's what he wanted.

On Tuesday, as I was leaving to go to work, I told Ben that we would have broccoli soup for dinner that night. He smiled and clapped his hands.
 "You're going to eat it, right?" I asked.
"YES!" He said.

Tuesday afternoon I went home on my lunch break and placed the ingredients in my crock pot. I set it to cook and went back to work, relieved that dinner would be taken care of when I got home.

Tuesday night, we set the table and sat down for dinner. I set the crockpot down and opened the lid.

"EEEWWW!!! What's that smell?!" Benjamin cried.

And we all ate broccoli soup without him.

Eats cat food, but not broccoli soup!

What?! You didn't think he was actually going to try it after all his assurances, did you? You must be new here!

Cat Stockings

Back in the early years of child rearing, I had more time to do silly things like giving the cat his own Christmas stocking. He'd get some treats, a new toy, and a can or two of some fancy cat food in a can. Then for about a week after Christmas I'd try to entice him to eat some fancy food. It always dried up on the plate and not once did he eat it. I finally gave up trying to buy him fancy foods and we've stuck with the generic dry cat food; first for kittens, then for cats, and now for "older pets." I guess he's just a simple cat with simple needs; like waking up up at 4AM just to check on our reaction time.

The Prompt

By now you must be wondering what the prompt I am avoiding was all about. Well, here ya go:

You're having your family over for dinner and in the midst of cooking for your germaphobe child, your cat jumps on the counter and sneezes all over dinner. What do you do? It was submitted by: http://www.southernbellecharm.com

I think I've circled around all the pieces of it, but it never came all together as one story. The problem is that Oscar has motor coordination issues and he literally can't jump on to a counter (but my old roommate's cat sure could!). Also, my kids aren't germaphobes, but I do have one particularly picky eater. And incidentally, I guess the cat's pretty picky too. He's just likes the cheap stuff. So instead of one story, you get three. How's that sound?

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Spatulas on Parade
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver 
Confessions of a part time working mom
Simply Shannon
Never Ever Give Up Hope 
The Bergham Chronicles
Climaxed 
A Little Piece of Peace 
Southern Belle Charm 

My Best Memory of 2016

December is here and it's time to look back over the year and reflect on all the good and bad that came our way. To be honest, this year would not even be in the running for "Top Ten Years Ever." It's been a difficult year for our family, for our country, and for our world. But that's not how I meant to start out. I meant to reflect on good memories, so let me do that.

My dad is one of four kids in his family. He's got an old brother, a younger brother, and a younger sister. When I was young his parents lived in Texas a few hours' drive up the road from us. Not too long after we moved to Virginia, they followed us and bought a house a few blocks up the street.

The rest of my dad's family was more spread out: California, New Jersey, North Carolina, England...But we still managed to get together for special occasions. I have always enjoyed spending time with my cousins. There are eight of us when we get together. The age range spans about 12 years, which seems like a lot when you're young, but not so much now as an adult. I didn't see my cousins as often once my grandparents died. Life was busier in general and we didn't have the patriarchs to gather around.

About 5 years ago, though, we decided to start having family reunions. We've held three now and it's been so much fun to get to know my cousins again, but also for my kids to get to know their kids.

This past summer, we all got together in North Carolina. My dad and his siblings (and spouses) were able to spend time together talking and catching up. I got to spend time with my cousins and all our kids got to get together. We throw correct genealogical terms out the window and go with what seems comfortable. Therefore I'm "Aunt Rabia" to my cousins' kids and my kids refer to them as their cousins. My kids only have one actual cousin, so I'm happy for them to gained these cousins and to feel so close to them. The kids range in age from 13 down to 6, except for an infant born last year. I've got the second oldest (by a few months) and the (almost) youngest, so it's a span that I'm used to and it means they get along well and are at similar stages. There are nine of them altogether; four girls and five boys.

We spent some time at the lake. We went hiking. We took over a pizza joint and made Uncle David sit at the kids' table. We went swimming. We went shopping. We wandered around downtown Asheville and watch the street artists. It was such a nice time to spend together with family and it is truly my best memory from 2016!

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
Baking In A Tornado
Not That Sarah Michelle
The Bergham Chronicles
Spatulas on Parade
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Simply Shannon
A Little Piece of Peace
Confessions of a part time working mom
The Angrivated Mom Blog
Climaxed

My “Secret Subject” is: It seems like 2016 has been a bit of a tough year for everyone. To end on a high note, what was your best memory from this year? It was submitted by: http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

Meet my Friend Solomon

You have to pick one person to write a biography about. Who will it be about and why?

I have a new friend. His name is Solomon. He comes to my building for English classes. As many of the students in that program do, he then comes down to my area to use the computers. I first met Solomon when he asked, in his heavily accented English, for some computing help. None of the students were out at the desk, so I went over to see what he needed.

After a series of gestures and stilted questions, I figured out that he wanted to change his Facebook profile picture. I then realized that he didn't have any pictures available to him, so I did the most natural thing I could think of and invited him up to the front desk so I could take his picture.

He smiled awkwardly while I clicked and then I helped him upload his picture. Then he showed me the pictures of his family and friends. He also wanted some help learning to video chat with his family, but he was running out of time because he had to get to work. He told me he would be back the next day.

Sure enough, Solomon has been back almost every day since then. Some days he just asks to borrow a pair of headphones. He likes to listen to Orthodox Christian videos on YouTube so that he can hear about God in his own language again; something I'm sure he doesn't get much of here. I've also helped him get set up to video chat with his family, showed him how to unfriend people on Facebook ("Just for practice!" he says), and apologized for my ignorance of the US Immigration website.

Solomon is from Eritrea. He's been here for four years. He has two of his kids here with him. His wife and other two children are in Ethiopia. He is trying to make arrangements for their Green Cards so that the family can be reunited.

He comes in every day with a black and white composition notebook. When he asks me a question, he takes diligent notes during the process. Then he closes out his web browsers and goes through the process again himself. Sometimes he picks it up after one or two tries. Sometimes he asks again a day or a week later. He says "thank you" repeatedly throughout this process.

Most days he's only here for about an hour in between his classes and walking to his job. He used to have a car, but he told me he had to "pick food or car. Car is expensive. Food is more important." He works in the poultry industry, which is a common position for many immigrants and refugees here.

Solomon and I have talked about how difficult English is. I can see him sounding out words to take his notes, and he has a hard time picking the correct vowel. I asked him the other day and he told me he speaks 4 languages. Two of them were Amharic and Arabic. The other two I don't remember. I smiled because he didn't include English in that count. I told him I only speak one language. He seemed surprised.

Each day that I interact with Solomon is a day to remind myself that even with all my housing issues, at least my whole family is together. I don't know all of the reasons that Solomon came to America and I don't know the circumstances for his family being split up. I'm not sure that it's really my business and I don't know that it's a story that could overcome our language barrier.

When I see Solomon I see a man who left his homeland to make a better life for himself and his family. I see his dedication to education and hard work. I see that it is difficult to not have regular contact with his family, his friends, or his culture. I can only imagine what life was like before to make this choice the better choice.

When I turn on the news and see a man threatening to deport foreigners, to build a wall, to unilaterally restrict immigration to our country, I think of Solomon. I think that if more people could have a Solomon in their lives they might have a better understanding of the humanity behind being a refugee. I think we all have many of the same goals: to see ourselves and our families safe, healthy, and prosperous.

Solomon does not make my goals less likely to be accomplished. He is no threat to me. Solomon is just a man, doing the best he can to make progress with the hand he's been dealt in life. He didn't ask to be born into a country of wars and limited freedoms, any more than I asked to be born into a country as well off as the United States. Aside from skin color, language, culture, age, and gender, Solomon isn't really all that different from me.

If I could write Solomon's biography I would hope that it would personalize the refugee crisis in our world. It's easy for lots of people to criminalize and dehumanize refugees when we talk about them as a large, anonymous group. It's much harder to think that way when a nice elderly gentleman asks you to take his picture for his Facebook profile. Solomon is one refugee among many. His story is his own, but also universal. I wish you could all have a Solomon to spend time with.


Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. My subject is “You have to pick one person to write a biography about. Who will it be about and why?”. It was submitted by The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado 
Not That Sarah Michelle 
The Bergham Chronicles 
Spatulas on Parade
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver 
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy 
Southern Belle Charm 
Confessions of a part time working mom 
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Climaxed 
A Little Piece of Peace 

Independence

When I was a kid I couldn't want to grow up and go out on my own. To be independent. To make my own decisions. To not have anyone boss me around!!

Of course, I know better now and I have the ability to laugh at my younger self and how ridiculous I was. The independence I was looking forward to as a child means something different to me now. Sure, I make my own decisions. Not many people really tell me what to do. But it's certainly not all I thought it was going to be. With that magical independence comes responsibility.

I may not have to make dinner every night if I don't want to, but I choose to because I love my family and I want them to be well cared for. I may not enjoy doing laundry; in fact I grumble about it quite a bit; but it has to get done and so I do it. I have very few complaints about my job, but even if I did, I choose to work here, so I do what needs to be done.

As a child, I didn't know much about responsibility and even less about it's relationship to independence. As I've grown I've learned that the two are intertwined. You cannot have true independence without accepting the responsibility that comes along with it.

Without turning this post into a complete tirade against "what is wrong with the world," I think that a lot of this is what is wrong with the world. People think that independence means "I can do what I want, when I want." but that is a very immature view of the concept. All actions have consequences. The things that I do have an affect on the people around me. As a moral decision maker I have to consider that aspect before I act.

What does independence mean to me? It means I have the right to do things in the way that I want to. It makes me happy to be able to make decisions that benefit others, but not necessarily myself. Independence is fun, but it also comes with responsibility that I feel obligated to honor.

You've been reading a Secret Subject Swap. This week 15 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
Not That Sarah Michelle
The Bergham Chronicles
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
My Brain on Kids
Spatulas on Parade
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Confessions of a part time working mom
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver 
Molly Ritterbeck
Juicebox Confession
Southern Belle Charm
Climaxed
When I Grow Up


My subject is “What does independence mean to me?" It was submitted by http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

My Fellow Americans

My fellow Americans,

The die has been cast. The numbers are in. The prospect is bleak.

I ask you. No! I beg you. Please consider another option: Me!

I will ensure coffee for everyone (who wants it). And a filter (haha) for Facebook coffee memes for those of us who do not partake.

I promise a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage. Unless you're vegetarian. Then you can have some tofu, or something. And if you're an environmentalist, you can have a bike instead. Or some new hiking shoes. I don't know!

Early bedtimes will be strictly enforced for all. Parents included. And naps. Guaranteed naps!

Big government? Small government? How about medium government?? That sounds good, right?

And private-stalled bathrooms at Targets everywhere. You just pick whichever one you want. They all have changing tables. And panic buttons near the toilet, just in case junior tries to unlock the door and make a run for it!

Taxes? I have no idea! Obviously the government needs money to run on, so let's just have everyone pay the same percentage.

And term limits for those in public office. You can come back after a break if the people liked you that much, but politicians should have to get out and live in the real world every few years, otherwise they forget what it's like out here.

Now here's where I have to be honest. I have no idea how to make any of this actually happen, but it all sounds pretty good, right? And that's what it takes to get elected. Telling people what they want to hear and then winging it once you're in office. Well, let me tell you: I am an expert at winging it! I have been flying by the seat of my pants for so long, I don't know any other way to do it. In fact, if you promise not to tell Karen, I'll let you in on a secret: I'm writing this less than an hour before it's due! Shhh!! It's our secret!

You've been reading a Secret Subject Swap. This week 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. My subject is "You are running for president. What is your platform?" It was submitted by Karen at Baking in a Tornado.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
Southern Belle Charm
Not That Sarah Michelle
Spatulas on Parade
The Bergham Chronicles 
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
My Brain on Kids 
The Lieber Family Blog 
Never Ever Give Up Hope 
Climaxed 
Confessions of a part time working mom
The Angrivated Mom

A Very Peculiar Saturday

Scene: Me cleaning behind the couch.
(Stop laughing!! This is fiction. I can pretend to clean behind the couch!!)

"What's this back here?" I mumble to myself as I reach back and pull more crap out from the far reaches of the netherworld behind the furniture.

It looks to be a plastic bottle of some sort. Is it something from the play kitchen? I thought I got rid of all that stuff ages ago! It's got weird green and gold designs on it. It doesn't look like anything I've ever bought before. I hope there's nothing in it. I was quite excited to outgrow the "sippy cup of cheese-ified milk under the bed" stage.

I take the bottle into the kitchen to open just in case there is something in it and I have to dump it out or clean a mess. The lid seems to be stuck.  I dig through the drawers to find the jar opener. I know it's in this drawer somewhere. Ugh! Never mind!!

I bang the lid on the counter ever so gently. Tap. Tap. Tap. Crack! Doggone it! Now I've got a mess in the kitchen. What is this stuff? It smells sweet and slightly tangy. Like peaches in the summertime. It's not sticky, or really all that messy, actually. After a quick wipe with a rag, the mess is all gone, even what splashed on my shirt. The bottle is empty, though, so I toss it in the recycling bin and head back out to the living room to finish cleaning.

"Mommy!  Look what we found!" giggles Frances. The kids are apparently taking a break from their screen time and congregating in the living room. They've dug out the rest of the toys from behind the couch and are happily playing with them though, so I put the couch where it was and get out the vacuum.

"Can I do that?" ask Benjamin. That goofy kid loves playing with the vacuum!

Not a vacuum, just a cute picture

"Sure, whatever. Just let me know when you're done so I can go back over it."

I head to the bathroom to do some clean-up in there, but Henry is using the toilet. I start putting some laundry in the basket to take it downstairs to start a load of washing. Surprisingly when I get downstairs, there isn't that much down there. I guess I got further ahead than I thought. There must be a ton upstairs to fold. I swap loads: clean stuff into a basket, wet stuff into the dryer and a new load into the washer. I manage to have just enough room to finish everything that's down here.

Grabbing the basket of clean clothes, which happens to be all towels, I head upstairs to add it to the pile on the bed so I can start folding. When I get to the bedroom I find Ken, just finishing up all the other laundry I had left there.

"Do these go in the second drawer or the third drawer?" he asks, holding up a pair of my jeans.

"Ummm..whichever one has more room, I guess." I answer in confusion. Not only did he fold all the laundry, he's putting mine away. Not one to question industry in my family, I dump out the towels and together we quickly fold them and get them put away. I don't mind folding laundry when it's all rectangles that go in the same place!

With the laundry done, I head back to the bathroom to see if Henry's done.

"Mommy, I accidentally made a mess on the toilet, so I cleaned it up. Can I use this too" he asks, brandishing the scrubby wand.

"OK, sure, I guess so." I reply slowly. Is my son really asking permission to clean the toilet??

Bewildered, I pass the vacuum in the living room and hear a strange sound in the dining room. I walk, hesitatingly towards the sound, unsure of what I will find.

I peer through the doorway and Frances is just putting the last toy into the bin. I pause. Should I ask her what she's doing or just let it go? The curiosity gets to me and I have to ask: "What are you doing, Sissy?"

"Those toys we found behind the couch went with a set of other stuff, so I came in here to look for the rest. Something else was in my way, so I started to get that where it belonged and I guess one thing led to another and I just re-organized all the toys."

"MOMMY!!" yells Ben from the living room. "I finished with the vacuum, but I can't move Daddy's chair!"

I start to head that way, but Henry comes dashing in. "I'll do it!" he laughs and together he and Ben shift the chair so Ben can clean underneath it.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at this point. I was just planning a few light cleaning tasks for this Saturday morning, but I've barely done any work and now the whole house is clean. The only thing I really accomplished was finding that small bottle behind the couch, and I made a mess of that. Something strange is going on.

Heading towards the couch to sit and think for a moment, I am sidetracked by a knock at the door. It's the neighbor from next door.

"Hey! I forgot to let you know that John and I are headed out of town for a week. We're actually taking the cats this time, so you don't need to watch them, but we wanted to let you know we'd be gone. Also, we had these sandwiches left over from a party tray last night and we don't want them to go bad. Would you and the kids want them for lunch?"

"Sure! Thanks! Have a great trip!" I say, as I shut the door on yet another odd occurrence. "Hey guys, you want lunch?"

With that small announcement, the kids rush to the kitchen to grab plates, cups, and silverware. I didn't even get the chance to ask and now they're running over me to set the table. Ken comes in from the bedroom and sits down at the table.

"I just changed the sheets and put away that last basket of stuff." he says as the kids sit down and say their blessing. I'm feeling a bit off, and as I start to load my plate with food, I hear a loud buzzing sound. I can't quite figure out where it's coming from and things are starting to go hazy. I turn my head to the side and squish my eyes closed tighter.

"Why is the alarm still set on a Saturday??" Ken mumbles and he gets up to turn it off.

"Ugh! Sorry, I forgot to turn it off. Whatever, I was going to do some housework today anyway," I tell him as I struggle to get out of bed. "I just had the strangest dream, though."

"About what?"

"You know, I don't really remember now. It's all kinda hazy."

And I get up more quickly than I had planned because I can hear the argument starting in the boys' room. I rush in there to head things off and I can already tell this day is not going to go how I planned. They are both upset because they have no clean pants to wear today. I guess I'll be doing a bunch of laundry then. I had planned on tackling some deep cleaning in the living room, but I guess that will have to wait until next weekend. No big deal. What could that possibly hurt?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/              The Bergham Chronicles

http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/   The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver http://dinoheromommy.com/                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                        Southern Belle Charm

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com                   Not That Sarah Michelle

http://mybrainonkids.net                                           My Brain on Kids

http://thelieberfamily.com                              The Lieber Family Blog

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                     Never Ever Give Up Hope

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                   Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/          Confessions of a part time working mom

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/             Spatulas on Parade

http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com                The Angrivated Mom

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                           Climaxed

My subject is "You have a bottle of pure Luck, but you have to use it quickly.  Otherwise it rots and becomes Bad Luck."  It was submitted by http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com.