Fourteen and Fabulous!

I feel like it's been a while since I did any personal posts. But today is a special day and I can't pass it up. My baby girl, the one who made me a mother, is 14 today! She started the day by getting out of bed all by herself!! Ten minutes late, but I'll take it. We were still late leaving the house though because she had to pack a lunch for her field trip today.

Instead of sitting down with her to down her birthday interview, I actually handed her a copy of the questions in the van and let her write her own answers! Things adjust and change as you get older, right??

She certainly has. She's becoming more responsible. She's my go-to babysitter most of the time now. She gets dinner ready and the table set on soccer nights since she's home and we're not. She carries a purse. It has makeup in it. She puts earbuds in her phone and zones out to music in the car. She sits in the front seat unless Ken and I are together.

We laughed together as she answered her interview questions, though. Some of the answers have stayed exactly the same. I guess she's still my baby girl deep down inside!

1. What is your favorite color? blue
2. What is your favorite toy? "Toys? I don't really play with toys that much."
3. What is your favorite fruit? grapes...or raspberries
4. What is your favorite tv show? "I have three...or five!" Project Me, Mighty Med, Liv and Maddie, Miraculous, Best Friends Whenever
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Pizza
6. What is your favorite outfit? My Hogwarts uniforms with boots
7. What is your favorite game? Clue Master Detective
8. What is your favorite snack? Goldfish and Cheezits
9. What is your favorite animal? Horse
10. What is your favorite song? "Can I just say "Hamilton'?"
11. What is your favorite book? Harry Potter, Unwanteds, Percy Jackson, Prince of Tennis
12. Who is your best friend? Jocelyn
13. What is your favorite cereal? plain Cheerios
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Read
15. What is your favorite drink? Root beer
16. What is your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving and Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? "I don't have time to list everything here!"
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Plain bagel with cream cheese
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Salisbury steak, asparagus, and mashed potatoes
20. What do you want to be when you grow up?A rocket scientist

Wanna compare previous answers?

Frances turns 4!
Frances turns 5!
Frances turns 6!
Frances turns 7!
Frances turns 8!
Frances turns 9!
Frances turns 10!
Frances turns 11!
Frances turns 12!
Frances turns 13!

Recently

Last week was a crazy busy week. I knew that it was going to be, and I had planned for it, but it still hit me hard. Actually, it wasn't the logistics that hit me, it was the "other stuff." I had been so busy focusing on getting kids to different places that I didn't take all the emotional aspects into it.

Let me back up. Frances had her ballet recital this past weekend. That means she also had her rehearsals. She needed to be at two different rehearsals because she was performing twice; once at the afternoon program and once at the evening program. In making sure she was ready for her rehearsals, I noted that I had no idea where my makeup bag was. I threw it in a box at some point during the move and haven't come across it yet. I'm in no hurry; I don't typically wear makeup anyway. In the past Frances has always borrowed mine for her dance recitals, but this year I figured I might as well just buy her her own.

We stopped by CVS after I got off work. We picked out a makeup pouch (because I've got enough mom experience to know that when you buy something, you have to know how it will be stored also) and started looking at different makeup stuff. This was a teachable moment for her and we had a good discussion about why people wear makeup and how to care for your makeup as well as your face after wearing it.

I tried to impart my (painfully lacking) makeup tips to her and we ended up picking out a palette with eye color, cheek color, lip gloss, and lip stick. We also picked out some eye liner and mascara separately, since those are recommended for the recital. As we were standing in the aisle, one of the pharmacy techs walked by. She grinned at me after over hearing part of our conversation, and shook her head. I made the comment, "You know you've filled her prescriptions since she was a baby, right?" Her eyes got big and she shook her head again and laughed. In that moment I was looking at my beautiful teenaged daughter, and seeing a baby with an ear infection at the same time.

The next afternoon I had to drop her off at her rehearsal. I wasn't able to stay with her because I still had to pick up the boys and get them dinner. Way back when she first started dance, I couldn't make the rehearsals either. My mom used to come up and take her, while I worked and then took care of the boys. This year, she vaguely mentioned that she couldn't come up because she had something else going on. I told her it wasn't a big deal because she was old enough to be there by herself.

We walked into the auditorium and headed for the bathroom so she could change. On the way, we saw lots of adorable little kids in tutus and other costumes. Frances pulled up tight to me and grabbed my arm. "They're so cu-u-u-u-u-te!" she squealed. In that moment I was looking at my sweet girl, who applied her own makeup in the car, and seeing seeing a toddler in a tutu at the same time.

She performed two dances in the Saturday recitals. We watched, proudly, from the audience and presented her with flowers afterwards. It was sweet to hear her brothers tell her how pretty she was and how well she danced.

We drove past the Rec Center yesterday and got into a conversation about the recital. She had seen most of the dances during her rehearsals, so I confirmed with her that she had seen the last one. It was a powerful piece that really hit me emotionally. It actually made me cry during the show and I couldn't really describe why. It was hauntingly beautiful and the choreography was just amazing.

In trying to talk about it with her, she said, "It just kinda makes me sad, but happy all at once. You know what I mean?"

Yes my dear one, I do. I know that feeling all too well lately.

This is Thirteen

When I was a kid in elementary school, middle school made me nervous and high school terrified me. When I actually reached those milestones, they didn't turn out to be as bad as I'd thought. They weren't easy by any means, but I was able to handle things.

Right before a new school year my kids always get nervous. The new grade always sounds so much harder than the old comfortable grade they were in. We do a lot of talking about those butterflies and I've always told them that the new grade is harder because they are ready for it to be.

There's a lot of doom talk about teenagers. I even admit to buying into it. The thought of raising teenagers has made me pretty nervous in the past. But lately I've realized that it's not really that much different. Last night I put a 12 year old to bed and woke up a 13 year old, but she's really not that much different than the kid she was last week.

The day before her birthday she "dressed like a kid" in preparation for not being one anymore.

Sure, there are changes that come with getting older. Hormones come into play. More cognitive abilities and different reasoning abilities emerge. She's growing and getting older, but that's the whole point of life, isn't it? These changes don't usually happen overnight. They are gradual and sometimes we don't even notice them.

Baby's first selfie on her new phone!

Like how Frances runs laundry for me now. Sometimes I don't even have to ask. Her basket gets full and she swaps out the loads. She's been doing dishes too. Don't get excited, it's not a daily occurrence, but she volunteers often enough to take a load off me.

She still fights with her brothers, leaves her socks under the table, and rolls her eyes when I remind her to brush her hair. Some things change and some things stay the same! Even her birthday interview was cute because of all the answers I recognized from previous years.

1. What is your favorite color? light blue
2. What is your favorite toy/thing to play with? snuggling with my blankets
3. What is your favorite fruit? grapes
4. What is your favorite tv show? Henry Danger
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Ramen noodles
6. What is your favorite outfit? My Harry Potter uniform
7. What is your favorite game? Clue
8. What is your favorite snack? peanuts
9. What is your favorite animal? horses
10. What is your favorite song? Cake by the Ocean by DNCE

11. What is your favorite book? Harry Potter
12. Who is your best friend? Desirae and Jocelyn
13. What is your favorite cereal? Mini Wheats
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? pretend I"m in the wilderness
15. What is your favorite drink? root beer
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Puppy and Beary
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? eggs and bacon

She had to settle for emoji pancakes this morning.

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? fried chicken, Brussels sprouts with bacon, artichokes, and fried okra (we managed everything but the fried okra)

Henry hugged her 13 times. You might think it's because he loves her, but really it's because he was excited about her choices for her birthday dinner!

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? a vet

W: Wet #AtoZChallenge

I spent Tuesday evening soaking wet for soccer practice in the rain. I didn't mind all that much as it was not cold. The worst part was the kids complaining! I loved soccer practice in the rain when I was younger. I guess I wasn't 5 or 6 at the time, though.

I ended up spending most of Wednesday wet too. I had signed Ken up to do a field trip with Frances' middle school science class. He ended up having things come up at work, so I covered for him. I was honestly not looking forward to a wet field trip with 6th graders. Especially because the instructions said to "dress to get wet to your knees." Plus it was still raining intermittently.

I ended up having a really good time and being very impressed with how much these students knew about environmental issues and our local ecology.

We rode the bus south of town to a community golf course that is located right next to the North River. Once there, we had four different stations to cycle through: assessing the chemical composition of the water, collecting animal and insect species from the water, comparing local rural, urban, and suburban areas in terms of land forms and runoff impact, and measure the width, depth, and flow of the river.

Two of those stations required the kids to get in the water. They were just as excited about that prospect as you might imagine, with a good number of them "accidentally" falling in; Frances among them! I chose to skip the full immersion station and just help with collecting creatures and the other two "dry" stations.

It was nice to spend the day with Frances and see how she's learning. She really enjoyed the field trip, as science is something she loves to learn about. In the end, I didn't get as wet as I thought I might, and I enjoyed myself (and learned something) too.

Happy Harry Potter Birthday, Frances!

Today I am the mother of a 12 year old. The signs have been fairly obvious lately: the eye rolling, the deep, philosophical questions, the comments about how she's "almost as tall as her mom!" (like that means anything!)

She's in 6th grade. She has her own friends that I've never met. She finally has her own room, and she's even gotten an email address. I've long been in the camp that thinks middle schoolers are scary, but I've come to realize that she's not any more scary than she was last week. She's still mine; just older, taller, and more sophisticated.

We celebrated her birthday on Saturday with family and friends. She wanted a Harry Potter birthday party, and I was more than happy to oblige. This may have been just a tiny bit for me too!

I decorated the door as the entrance to Platform 9-3/4. Shortly after she saw it, she walked into it several times. I was proud and heart-broken. She shares both my sense of humor and my Muggle-ness.

Her godmother addressed some letters and arranged them to look as if they were flying out of the fireplace. They turned out awesome!

I put together a fun feast for lunch.

The Veritaserum was lemonade with a packet of apple cider mix stirred in. It had just a bit of a kick to it for some fun. The Quidditch bludgers were meatballs. The Forbidden Forest veggies were...veggies. For Professor Sprout's Mandrake Salad, I roasted some veggies (cubed zucchini, yellow squash, onion, sliced carrot, garlic and cherry tomatoes) in the oven, and then added them to a box of prepared couscous. The Pumpkin Pasties I made by mixing pumpkin puree with pumpkin pie seasoning, and then placed inside 6" circles I cut out of pie crust. I folded them in half, crimped the edges with a fork and brushed an egg over them. Bake in the over for about 20 minutes and drizzle with butter, powdered sugar and cinnamon. I made Deviled Dragon Eggs out of plain ole chicken eggs and the Polyjuice Potion was really a cheesy bean dip. The Broomsticks are big pretzel logs with a fringed tortilla wrapped around one end and "glued" on with Laughing Cow creamy Swiss cheese.

The cake was a Harry Potter necktie with crimson and gold stripes.

The food was fun, the company was great and the birthday girl had an awesome time! To round out the evening, we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone together. We had just finished the book, so it was perfect timing!

And as always, here is Frances' birthday interview:
1. What is your favorite color? light blue
2. What is your favorite toy? my world
3. What is your favorite fruit? oranges
4. What is your favorite tv show? Mythbusters
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Salisbury Steak
6. What is your favorite outfit? Harry Potter uniform (a red plaid skirt and necktie)
7. What is your favorite game? Clue
8. What is your favorite snack? Goldfish
9. What is your favorite animal? horse, tiger, dolphin
10. What is your favorite song? Bad Blood
11. What is your favorite book? Harry Potter
12. Who is your best friend? Aiden, Robert, Desirae
13. What is your favorite cereal? Mini Wheats
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Make fake food (out of grass, leaves, and sticks)
15. What is your favorite drink? milk
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? my stuffed animals
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?  waffles
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? fried chicken, fried okra, and Brussels sprouts
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A vet or inventor


Happy birthday, Frances!

Frances' First Modeling Gig

Frances just spent a week with my parents. The initial plan was for her to help out my mother who just had knee surgery at the beginning of June. I had coached Frances multiple times about how this was not going to be like other trips to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

"You might need to help do laundry."
"I'd like you to make sure Grandma gets a good breakfast every day."
"Take some books you might enjoy reading to Grandma."

So you'll please excuse my surprise when I called down there on her first day away to check on her! My mom answered her cell phone and immediately said, "Hold on a second. I have to put this stuff down." Then she handed the phone to Frances and I began a completely unexpected conversation with my daughter.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Grandma just took me shopping. We are leaving the mall and she ha to but the bags down."

This was not the trip I had prepared her for!?!

I don't know why I was surprised. My mom has always been stubborn. It may or may not run in the family. I'm not telling! She had her knee replaced and jumped into her physical therapy and rehab. She had quickly graduated from walker to cane, and was doing laundry again within three weeks of her surgery. The day before I dropped Frances off, she had been cleared to drive again, so off they went.

While at the mall, Frances had picked out s new outfit from Belk. A saleslady there had recommended that Frances sign up for their Back-to-School modeling event. Frances dutifully explained that she wouldn't be around then and the saleslady told her to look up the event locally.

Frances is #modeling at #Belk #KidFest today! #backtoschool #fashion

A photo posted by Rabia Lieber (@mamarabia) on Aug 1, 2015 at 8:37am PDT

Sure enough our Belk was doing the same thing! Frances really wanted to try it out, and after a few scheduling changes, we were able to make it happen. I took her and Benjamin to the store on Saturday morning and let her pick out an outfit to wear. There weren't a whole lot of kids there, but enough to make it fun. They had games for the kids beforehand and snacks afterwards. She got to walk down a real runway and strut herself. And in the end she suckered her mom into buying her that new outfit at an extra "models only" discount.

: <--Tweet this: The beginning and end of our modeling careers!

The funny thing is that even though this was Frances' first modeling experience, this wasn't a first for our family. In fact, I did almost the exact same thing 28 years ago as a Back-to-School model for JC Penney. I didn't get the outfit, though; just the chunky necklace!

My mini me #likemotherlikedaughter

A photo posted by Rabia Lieber (@mamarabia) on Aug 1, 2015 at 8:42am PDT

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic and Lisa of The Golden Spoons! This week, the word prompt choices were Thunder and First.

Performing with the Steel Wheels at Red Wing Roots

This adventure started, as many good adventures do, with a phone call. I've had the kids' summer camps planned out for a while, but there were still a few holes, so when I got a call from Frances' violin teacher I was torn about what to do.

On one hand, it sounded like a great opportunity for Frances. When the camp director/violin teacher calls you personally to say that your child would really benefit from the camp it's hard to say no. It really pulled at my mommy heart.

On the other hand, the camp was more expensive than most of the other camps, and with it being last minute we really hadn't budgeted for it. I swallowed my pride and asked for permission to make payments instead of paying it all at once, and since that was agreeable to the camp folks we went ahead and got her registered.

That's about when things got bigger. This was not just a violin camp, it was a violin camp with a fiddle workshop. The fiddle workshop had come about because a local bluegrass band was partnering with the camp. That partnership had come about because the local band wanted the violin/fiddle camp kids to play at a show with them. And the show turned out to be the Red Wing Roots Music Festival, held down the road in Mt. Solon, Virginia.

I had vaguely heard of the band and the music festival, but I hadn't paid much attention. Once I started looking into it the whole things seemed quite exciting and I was looking forward to attending the music festival on Friday. (We got discounted tickets for Friday, but we wouldn't have been able to hang out for Saturday and Sunday anyway.)

Frances really enjoyed the violin camp and once I listed to them perform on Tuesday when I picked her up, I was in tears. There's just something about listening to beautiful music and knowing that your child is up there playing it that I can't quite describe. This audio clip is from their second day together:

She went through her week of camp and then we moved on to another week. She had sewing camp last week, and once again I was totally taken aback and amazed with her sewing skills. On Friday of last week, her sewing camp had a fashion show to show off their creations and then we left to grab lunch, find Uncle Alan, pick up Ben from school, and get Ken from work. Only then could we head to the festival!

We drove down the road and arrived and checked in about 5 minutes before it started raining. Thankfully, the stage she was to perform on was under a large tent. We were able to set up our blankets and dry out in a comfy spot.

 We listened to one other band perform before it was time for her to warm up and get in place.

Henry got to go on stage to help with a song too!

The Steel Wheels played part of their set themselves, and then invited the violin students to join them for the last few songs. It was just as beautiful to listen to them Friday as it was the week before.

After her performance, we headed over to one of the other stage areas and set out our blanket again before grabbing dinner and enjoying the afternoon sunshine. It wasn't too hot or too cold and with the lovely music, beautiful scenery, and wonderful company, I really couldn't have asked for a better evening. We hope to go again next year, and maybe camp out for the whole weekend.

Natural Chimneys State Park, Mt. Solon, VA

The Longest Moment of Last Week

Time is relative, isn't it? I'm not talking about complicated science and math theories. I'm talking actual time. Like when your kid asks for a snack and you say "just a minute" but ten minutes later he's still hungry and you're still playing Candy Crush.

Or when you're waiting in line for the bathroom, and your daughter says she'll be done "in just a sec" but you're still doing a little shimmy five minutes later.

It's messed with my ability to gauge time. I have a hard time deciding how long a car trip will take and what time we should leave. If we leave too early, the kids will have wait time and get antsy before the event. If When we leave too late, we'll be...late.

Sometimes time seems to stop completely and you are caught in a moment when you can't move or speak and you can't fix what's happened. You just don't know how to react.

This is exactly what happened to me last week. We had a lot of things scheduled, but I had them all in my calendar and in my head:

Monday-Violin concert for Frances 

Tuesday-Soccer practice for the boys

Wednesday: First Communion Rehearsal for Henry..NO WAIT! That's Tuesday!! OK, got that figured out on Monday, so everything is ok.

Thursday- Spring Showcase for Henry at school

Friday-Frances' Dance rehearsal

It was Thursday night and I sat down for what I thought was going to be a brief moment of peace after the kids had gone to bed. I took a deep breath and snuggled in to my corner of the couch. I flipped open my iPad and pulled up Facebook to see what important things were going on, and I saw this:

Surely I was reading something wrong because Frances' rehearsal was on Friday night...RIGHT?!?! I panicked and jumped up from the couch. Where was the paper with instructions so I could verify this?? Why can't I find one single piece of paper amidst all these scraps of permission forms and end-of-year announcements?!

Tweet This: Both the digital calendar and the calendar in my head had failed me!"

Tweet

I tried another tactic. I jumped online to look it up. Ms. Cindy had said before that the info was on the city website. Of course, when you're in panic mode nothing loads fast enough and if felt like an hour before I came across the page I was looking for. Scan, scan, scan...Where is it!?!

I finally found what I was looking for and all time stopped. We. had. missed. rehearsal. I started to cry. In that moment I felt like the absolute worst mother in the history of mothers. How did this happen!?! I managed to get back over to Facebook and send a message to Ms. Cindy. I apologized profusely and explained that is was all my fault. I was afraid to ask what this meant, because I knew the rule "No rehearsal=No Performance."

I could see through the Facebook spies that Ms. Cindy had been "active 12 minutes ago." I waited for what seemed like an hour for her response. In that time all sorts of scenarios and emotions went through me. I felt stupid. I was angry at myself. I was ticked at that beautiful melon colored dress we'd bought that would never get worn.

And finally the response came: "Yes. It was tonight. Don't worry.  Concert is on Saturday.  Dancers arrive at 6:15. Show starts at 7."

And all was right with the world again.

Have you had a recent moment of panic?

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and Lisa of The Golden Spoons! This week, the word prompt choices were Crazy & Moment.

Five Minute Friday: Send

Earlier in the week, Frances brought home a paper from school. She wants to sign up for the band next year and she needed permission to do so. The form had a place for her to pick out a first choice instrument and a second choice. The whole thing made me nervous. She's just in middle school and they track everything so early. I asked her if she understood what she'd being giving up in order to be in the band. She did (art, choir and drama). She sounded so sure of herself. 

She's at that age when she's making decisions that aren't the decisions I would have made for her. Don't get me wrong! They aren't bad decisions!! They are great decisions. Just not the things I would have chosen.

It makes me realize more and more that she is not me.

She is growing up into her own person!

She is becoming a young lady with thoughts, and dreams, and ideas I never expected.

Next thing you know we'll have to send her off to college!!

I'm not ready for that!

So I guess it's a good thing that also this week, I had the chance to pick her up from school after violin rehearsal. She'd had a recent disappointment and I wanted to spend some one-on-one time with her. I told her she could pick whatever she wanted. She chose to go get ice cream and watch a Harry Potter movie with me on the couch.

We snuggled under the same blanket and ate the same kind of Blizzard.

I realized that even though she's not me, she's still mine.

And even when we do send her out into the big world, I have confidence that she'll always know where home is.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you; encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

Frances is Number one-one AKA Eleven!!

It was 11 years ago that I became a mother! In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday. This past weekend we took the opportunity to celebrate Frances' birthday with family and friends. We had a wonderful time at the KOA campground in Luray (even though it was a bit chilly). I've got a picture dump and then her birthday interview. Enjoy!

1. What is your favorite color? light blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Polly Pockets
3. What is your favorite fruit? mandarin oranges
4. What is your favorite TV show? Wild Kratts
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Mommy's lunchables
6. What is your favorite outfit? Easter outfit (orange lace dress with belt)
7. What is your favorite game? Big Fish games(Search and find iPad games of which she has bought a ton!)
8. What is your favorite snack? Chex Mix
9. What is your favorite animal? dolphins, horses, and tigers
10. What is your favorite song? Dark Horse by Katy Perry
11. What is your favorite book? The Amulet series
12. Who is your best friend? Desirae
13. What is your favorite cereal? Mini Wheats
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? archery
15. What is your favorite drink? Root Beer
16. What is your favorite holiday? all of them
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? pink, puppy, bunny, shimmer, and uni
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? scrambled eggs or fried eggs
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? fried chicken, asparagus, mashed potatoes (And Ben picked out raspberries and blackberries at the grocery store for her)
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? vet

Surviving Middle School: One Day Down

"And tell your Mommy not to cry, OK?"

And so ends the early morning conversation my mom had with Frances before her first day of middle school.  Then Frances looked at me and promptly asked, "Mommy? Why are you crying?"

My sassy response was "because I never do anything my Mommy tells me to either" which, thankfully got a bit of a smile out of her.

Frances has been worried about middle school since the end of last year. Anytime someone has asked her if she's ready for middle school, she's said "no."  She didn't eat breakfast on the first day of school. I made sausage and eggs and even let them have orange juice!  Her stomach just wasn't settled enough to eat much of anything.  Plus she was up MUCH earlier than she's used to.  She is NOT a morning girl!

The truth is, I've been worried about middle school a lot too. The first unsettled feeling came when her fourth grade teacher mentioned middle school at Back to School Night.  We had barely started 4th grade and now I was worried about 5th! 

At the end of last year, we stopped at McDonald's for a snack.  As he usually does when driving that road, Benjamin shouted out, "Look Bubby and Sissy! There's your school!" And then Frances said, "Nope, Ben. That's not my school anymore."  I cried then too.

The teachers did a good job all year of getting the kids ready for middle school. The guidance counselors talked to them about various topics, explained how lockers worked, and reassured them that they wouldn't get lost in the new school 3 times as large as their previous one.

The problem is that none of these things have addressed my worries!  Do I still take cupcakes to her on her birthday or will that make her a square. Or will her mother using outdated language like "square" be sufficient?  When she turns eleven will she want a shirt that has her age on it or will she have outgrown that particular tradition? Will she make new friends? Will she make good friends? Will she be a good friend?

Worrying is nothing new to me as a parent.  I'm pretty much an expert by now.  But something about middle school seems to have thrown me off. Is she still my little girl? Will she outgrow me? Literally, I hope she will.  No mother would willingly curse her child to be only five feet tall.  Figuratively, I'm not ready for her to outgrown me.  I want to be the best mom that I can be and still have her like me (most of the time).

When I was 10 my family moved from Texas to Virginia and I started all over at a brand new school.  I remember feeling scared and lonely and left out.  But I did make friends. I found a place in that school and in that community.  I learned new things academically that year as well as socially and emotionally.  It was a year of great growth (except not literal, obviously) for me. 

I hope that this year for Frances will be much the same: full of book learning as well as life learning. I hope she grows and changes, but still stays my same little girl.  Is that possible?

And the boys? They'll be fine! Henry is excited for second grade this year.  He's in a familiar place, even if Frances isn't there with him.

 And Ben's happy as long as I stop trying to take his picture. He'd also prefer that I not make him eat weird food!

P.S. The cupcake question is a real one! Will I totally ruin her if I go eat lunch with her??

Parents and Children Agree: My Parenting is Sub-Par

I woke up Sunday morning and I couldn't move. The upper half of my body was sore and tight and I was exhausted on top of that. As I lay in bed trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I remembered my adventures from Saturday.

My Julie was in charge of the PTA MayFest at her school and her husband was working for the day, so I told her I'd bring my kids out and keep an eye on hers as well. We did the same thing last year and everyone had a good time.  This year was no different. I met Julie at her school and got a set of tickets from her as well as a command to use her "tab" at the food bar if we got hungry.

We took our tickets and set out to play some games. Most of the games were "everybody wins" kinds of games, so the kids picked up a lot of kid-swag and I collected it in my bag. We got close to the end of our tickets and decided to go to the playground for a bit.

I was the bag lady of MayFest!

It's a nice playground with a climbing structure and some swings. I sat in one of the swings and watched the kids play.  They were playing my favorite game of all time!  The one where Frances is assigned the role of "mommy" and everyone else is her kid, trying to get her attention. So while I sat on the swings and played on my phone, they kept yelling, "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" repeatedly.  I did try to respond a few times, but they always called back., "We're not talking to you!" So eventually I just started to ignore all of it.

Be thankful this is not a video of kids repeatedly yelling "MOMMY!"

After a while, I started to get hungry and I figured my kids would be too.  It was getting close to lunch time, so we went inside to eat. We got our food, put it on Julie's tab and sat down to eat.  The kids had won candy at one of the games earlier, so I told them they could eat that after they ate their lunch. What kind of a babysitter would I be if I didn't give the kids back all sugared up!?!

Would you have blamed me for licking him clean?

After lunch we went back out, got a few more tickets, picked up some more useless pieces of plastic kid-swag and then decided to go hang out on the playground again. This time it was a bit more crowded, so I hung out over by the edge, in the mulch. I set myself up to chill out for a while and then L called me over to push her in the swing. For the next 30 minutes I pushed kids on the swings. D wasn't interested, and Frances can swing herself, but L, Benjamin and Henry all wanted help.

Can you see the pout on Benjamin's face?

After pushing for a while, I told the kids I was taking a break.  L jumped off the swing to go play, but Benjamin stayed there waiting patiently for me to come back.  Except, not. He sat in the swing and called to me and whined for me to push him.  You would think by now that he would have learned of my superior ability to tune out whining, but, sadly, he has not.  Eventually, another mom came over to him and said, "Do you need a push on the swing?" while looking in my direction. I caught her glance as I looked up from the game I was playing on my phone.  I started to wonder if she was judging me, but I quickly decided that I really didn't care. 

So this other woman pushed my son on the swing a few times and then went back to her own kid. I gave her a casual wave and said, "thanks!"  She and her daughter left the playground shortly after that. Of course, Benjamin's swing had started slowing down again and he started to yell for me.  I was busy playing 2048 on my phone when I looked up to see a little girl, about 4 years old, standing in front of me.

"Is that your little boy?" she squeaked while pointing at the swings.

"Yep!" I said and smiled.

"Does he want to be pushed on the swing?"

"Probably," I replied.

*pause* "Are you...gonna push him?" she asked.

"Probably not."

And the she gave me a funny look and walked off. She was probably judging me too.