My Wishes for a Sweet School Year

It's no secret that I love lists! I co-host #TuesdayTen and post every week with a list of ten things dedicated to a certain topic. I have even written a list of reasons to write lists. I've been known to write a few "bucket" lists even though I don't always get through them. I've been wanting to write a to do list for this school year, but I've had a hard time getting my writing mojo back from so many breaks during the summer.

Then I saw that the one word challenge this week featured the words "wish" and "smooth" and I felt like I wasn't going to get a better reason to write!

My wishes for a smooth school year:

1. To eat lunch with the kids on a regular basis. I've actually already gone to eat with Benjamin, so now I've got to even the score and then start over.

2. Hold tight to our new routines. It gets exhausting when the kids are not listening, but I need to stick with it and not let up, or else their bad habits (and mine) will take over again.

3. Stay on top of paperwork and keep things organized. I wrote about this binder earlier in the week and I'm proud to say that I've been using it faithfully for the first two weeks of school. Just yesterday I was unsure as to when violin lessons started for Frances and I was able to flip right to the "violin" tab and figure it out.

4. Make good use of my lunch breaks. We traded lunch breaks for half-day Fridays over the summer. Most people think it's amazing, but in reality it makes for long days for me. Those half-Fridays never ended up being anything useful to me. I wouldn't want to take away the privilege for others, but I'm glad to have my lunch breaks back. Now to use them effectively by getting a few chores done around the house.

5. Exercise more. With the kids all in school on the same schedule, and all at the same after-school program; I'm hoping I can get back onto a regular exercise habit. There's a class I've been eyeballing on Monday evenings. I'm hoping to start next week.

6. Keep in touch with the kids' teachers and make sure they know we appreciate them!

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by Lisa of The Golden Spoons Janine of Confessions of a Mommyaholic. This week, the word prompt choices were Sweet and Wishes. If you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE.

Frances' First Modeling Gig

Frances just spent a week with my parents. The initial plan was for her to help out my mother who just had knee surgery at the beginning of June. I had coached Frances multiple times about how this was not going to be like other trips to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

"You might need to help do laundry."
"I'd like you to make sure Grandma gets a good breakfast every day."
"Take some books you might enjoy reading to Grandma."

So you'll please excuse my surprise when I called down there on her first day away to check on her! My mom answered her cell phone and immediately said, "Hold on a second. I have to put this stuff down." Then she handed the phone to Frances and I began a completely unexpected conversation with my daughter.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Grandma just took me shopping. We are leaving the mall and she ha to but the bags down."

This was not the trip I had prepared her for!?!

I don't know why I was surprised. My mom has always been stubborn. It may or may not run in the family. I'm not telling! She had her knee replaced and jumped into her physical therapy and rehab. She had quickly graduated from walker to cane, and was doing laundry again within three weeks of her surgery. The day before I dropped Frances off, she had been cleared to drive again, so off they went.

While at the mall, Frances had picked out s new outfit from Belk. A saleslady there had recommended that Frances sign up for their Back-to-School modeling event. Frances dutifully explained that she wouldn't be around then and the saleslady told her to look up the event locally.

Frances is #modeling at #Belk #KidFest today! #backtoschool #fashion

A photo posted by Rabia Lieber (@mamarabia) on Aug 1, 2015 at 8:37am PDT

Sure enough our Belk was doing the same thing! Frances really wanted to try it out, and after a few scheduling changes, we were able to make it happen. I took her and Benjamin to the store on Saturday morning and let her pick out an outfit to wear. There weren't a whole lot of kids there, but enough to make it fun. They had games for the kids beforehand and snacks afterwards. She got to walk down a real runway and strut herself. And in the end she suckered her mom into buying her that new outfit at an extra "models only" discount.

: <--Tweet this: The beginning and end of our modeling careers!

The funny thing is that even though this was Frances' first modeling experience, this wasn't a first for our family. In fact, I did almost the exact same thing 28 years ago as a Back-to-School model for JC Penney. I didn't get the outfit, though; just the chunky necklace!

My mini me #likemotherlikedaughter

A photo posted by Rabia Lieber (@mamarabia) on Aug 1, 2015 at 8:42am PDT

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic and Lisa of The Golden Spoons! This week, the word prompt choices were Thunder and First.

16 Things to do After the Kids go to Bed

Let's all raise a glass to bedtime! That glorious time of day (night?) when the kids are settled in and you finally get some time to yourself. What do you choose to do after bedtime? Here are some ideas:

• binge watch your favorite TV show
• have a glass of wine
• fold a load of laundry (or two...or three)
• eat the dessert you didn't want to share with the kids
• read a book that has a cover you can't let them see
• empty the dishwasher
• take a bath without any toys in it
• heavy petting on the couch
• trim your fingernails
• update your Facebook status about how wonderful your day was
• put the kids back to bed
• play Candy Crush
• even up your eyebrows
• pick up toys
• pass out on the couch
• go to bed

What do you do after the kids have gone to bed?

Feel free to use any combination of the above! Any other suggestions?

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic and Lisa of The Golden Spoons!

The Birthday Lists

There was an email circulating a while back about one mother and her very specific, and honestly rude requests for her child's first birthday. She made her requests in such a way that I imagine the recipients of this list were offended. At the very least, the internet was up in arms. I saw the email and commentaries about it circulating across my Facebook feed for weeks!

I thought of that email this morning as I got another email from a family member asking what Henry would like for his upcoming birthday. There are a few reasons I hate this question. We have so much stuff already, I find it difficult to ask for more to be brought into the house. I also don't want my children to feel entitled to a big list of gifts for every holiday that rolls around. On the other hand, though, I do want my kids to feel special for their birthdays. So what's a mother to do?

First of all, our family has been very good about gifting experiences. We have a membership to the local children's museum that was a Christmas gift last year. The kids have also had special camps paid for and other activities as well. They love these types of gifts and the memories from them will last forever (especially if I blog about them!)

Secondly, there comes a point when I really enjoy thinking of gifts for my kids. It gives me a chance to sit down and really think about their likes and personalities. I feel this fun communion with them when I do this. For example, Frances loves reading. I love tracking the growth in her reading skills and choices over time through the different books I may request for her each year.

Henry has a real interest in drawing. His after-school teacher has a book of doodles with drawing and writing prompts for the kids. Henry loves finishing the pictures and writing about them. It's such a fun glimpse into his personality. He also loves science and nature and any gift geared toward those disciplines.

Benjamin is just coming in to his own self. As a baby, it seemed easier to pick out gifts that would make him happy. Now as he is growing, I can see how much he idolizes his big brother in the types of things he likes to play with. I imagine the next year, with starting Kindergarten and learning to read, will be big opportunities for him to learn more about himself and form his own likes and desires.

Birthdays are such special times in a kid's life. Watching my kids grow makes me so happy. Seeing glimpses of the people they are becoming brings such joy. I don't want my kids to expect overflowing gifts each year, but I do want to help the people in their lives understand them and pick out a personal gift that will bring joy to both the giver and the receiver.

I should also mention that one of my love languages is giving and receiving gifts. Finding the perfect gift for someone is my way of expressing love. And if I can't afford to give every gift I think of, why not pass out the ideas! Then more people can share in the happiness!

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and Lisa of The Golden Spoons! This week, the word prompt choices were Happy and Time. If you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join the Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.

Learning the Value of a Dollar

I got an email from Henry's teacher yesterday. I ignored it at first because I was in the middle of a bunch of different things and those emails are never good news, right? I finally got to it after lunch and I was floored by what I read.

Henry has a field trip coming up this week. They are going to a local park to learn about animals and habitats. I got the permission form two weeks ago. The trip costs $5 to pay for the bus. I went ahead and wrote a check for $10, knowing that field trip money can be a hardship for families sometimes. I didn't mention it to Henry, he just took it to school and turned it in.

I imagine his teacher was tying up loose ends yesterday when she reminded the students about the field trip. She must have mentioned that some kids still needed their permission forms and money. And I'll bet she told her class that if a student didn't have the money, not to worry about it as they would take care of it. That's how I've heard it many times, and said it myself, in fact, when I was teaching.

That's where the email comes in. Apparently, when my sweet son heard that some kids might not be able to pay for the field trip, he went to his backpack and got out his wallet. He pulled out a $20 and gave it to his teacher to "help his friends be able to go on the trip." She was asking my permission to take the money.

After I finished crying, I said of course that was fine with me. It's his money that he has either earned from chores or received as gifts. I put him in charge of it in order to teach his fiscal responsibility. In my head that meant letting him blow all his money on toys and bubble gum so that he could learn to budget at some point.

He takes good care of his wallet. He lost it one time and after that he has kept very good track of things. He understands how lucky he was to get it back! He loves money. I've found it to be the one thing that really motivates him to do things. Even a tiny amount works! I pay him a nickel for each pair of socks that he matches up out of the laundry basket.

He saved up a while ago to buy a r/c monster truck. He's proud of himself for that. I let him handle the whole transaction on his own. His smile afterwards was just precious. He also likes buying gum. He chews it all the time, but not in an annoying way. I don't even notice it most of the time as he's very responsible about it.

I was initially worried about letting a seven year old be in charge of his own wallet. My main concerns were about him losing it or spending it frivolously. And I'm not saying that those things haven't happened. They will likely happen again. However, he's obviously learned something else about helping others along the way! 

 

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and Lisa of The Golden Spoons! This week, the word prompt choices were Sweet & Soon.

The Longest Moment of Last Week

Time is relative, isn't it? I'm not talking about complicated science and math theories. I'm talking actual time. Like when your kid asks for a snack and you say "just a minute" but ten minutes later he's still hungry and you're still playing Candy Crush.

Or when you're waiting in line for the bathroom, and your daughter says she'll be done "in just a sec" but you're still doing a little shimmy five minutes later.

It's messed with my ability to gauge time. I have a hard time deciding how long a car trip will take and what time we should leave. If we leave too early, the kids will have wait time and get antsy before the event. If When we leave too late, we'll be...late.

Sometimes time seems to stop completely and you are caught in a moment when you can't move or speak and you can't fix what's happened. You just don't know how to react.

This is exactly what happened to me last week. We had a lot of things scheduled, but I had them all in my calendar and in my head:

Monday-Violin concert for Frances 

Tuesday-Soccer practice for the boys

Wednesday: First Communion Rehearsal for Henry..NO WAIT! That's Tuesday!! OK, got that figured out on Monday, so everything is ok.

Thursday- Spring Showcase for Henry at school

Friday-Frances' Dance rehearsal

It was Thursday night and I sat down for what I thought was going to be a brief moment of peace after the kids had gone to bed. I took a deep breath and snuggled in to my corner of the couch. I flipped open my iPad and pulled up Facebook to see what important things were going on, and I saw this:

Surely I was reading something wrong because Frances' rehearsal was on Friday night...RIGHT?!?! I panicked and jumped up from the couch. Where was the paper with instructions so I could verify this?? Why can't I find one single piece of paper amidst all these scraps of permission forms and end-of-year announcements?!

Tweet This: Both the digital calendar and the calendar in my head had failed me!"

Tweet

I tried another tactic. I jumped online to look it up. Ms. Cindy had said before that the info was on the city website. Of course, when you're in panic mode nothing loads fast enough and if felt like an hour before I came across the page I was looking for. Scan, scan, scan...Where is it!?!

I finally found what I was looking for and all time stopped. We. had. missed. rehearsal. I started to cry. In that moment I felt like the absolute worst mother in the history of mothers. How did this happen!?! I managed to get back over to Facebook and send a message to Ms. Cindy. I apologized profusely and explained that is was all my fault. I was afraid to ask what this meant, because I knew the rule "No rehearsal=No Performance."

I could see through the Facebook spies that Ms. Cindy had been "active 12 minutes ago." I waited for what seemed like an hour for her response. In that time all sorts of scenarios and emotions went through me. I felt stupid. I was angry at myself. I was ticked at that beautiful melon colored dress we'd bought that would never get worn.

And finally the response came: "Yes. It was tonight. Don't worry.  Concert is on Saturday.  Dancers arrive at 6:15. Show starts at 7."

And all was right with the world again.

Have you had a recent moment of panic?

This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and Lisa of The Golden Spoons! This week, the word prompt choices were Crazy & Moment.

Joy! I Can Breathe Again!

We are almost through the semester! JOY! Most of the heavy work has been done and now I am just coasting through until summer session starts. The students have a week off, and while I still have to work, it's a light week. I'm looking forward to it. It is such a relief to ease back a bit.

April is such a busy time of year on a college campus and this year was no different. Add in the extra family stuff going on and I am just worn out! We've all been feeling a bit fragile. No one has been sick yet, but we're all run down and could use a break. So far, May has been a breath of fresh air. We are winding down with the kids' school activities as well, so we can focus on getting through testing and the other end of the year craziness!

It's the first week of the month and time for me to look back at my resolutions for the year and see how I am doing. I honestly couldn't tell you what all ten of those resolutions are right now, so I'm a little worried about my progress. However, I really enjoy this recap because it gives me the chance to recommit myself each month and stay on track.

The Good

I've been doing well with my walking goal. My step average has been at least 1,000 above my goal except for one week when I lost some data. I'm impressed that one week when I forgot to record a day, I still met my weekly goal!

I'm also keeping up with my monthly savings goal. I am 3/4 of the way to my yearly goal and the money comes out of my paycheck directly, so I am getting used to not spending it. Logging in to check my balance for this post filled me with joy. Especially since we are looking at buying a new truck for Ken. It's nice to know we have a buffer when that time comes.

The Bad

My weight has bounced up lately. I was sure it wasn't because there were days when I was too busy to get much lunch. Unfortunately, if I don't eat lunch, I eat a HUGE dinner and then some. I'm working to get that back on track. Especially because eating like that makes me feel sick and I don't like feeling that way.

Blogging-wise, I didn't get a VLOG in for April. I mostly just forgot. I also had a pretty full editorial calendar and I've learned that if I don't specifically block out these things, I won't be able to fit them in.

The Ugly

I have been able to pick up some books after giving them up for Lent. It was nice to get back to reading, but it's been mostly fiction again. I did read a non-fiction book about women in the Bible. I also read Lose the Cape for a blog review. Those are the only two non-fiction I've read this year, though, so now I'm two behind if I'm supposed to read one per month.

In blog-land, my page views have fallen off a bit. I've not been good about my promotion schedule, mostly because I've been mostly writing at the last minute. My goal is to get ahead of myself again so that I have more time for purposeful promotion. It seems that attention span in this business can be pretty fragile and if I fall behind with my own visits and comment responses, I notice a downturn in my own stats.

Have you checked back on your resolutions for the year? How are you doing?

I'm linking this one up for the #1Word Blog Challenge. This weeks' words are joy and fragile.You can find more details or link up here:

Opportunities Missed

Last night was a bit crazy. It was Benjamin's birthday and he had requested Little Caesar's pizza, so dinner wasn't much work. Ken and the boys had soccer practice and Frances and I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some strawberries and a few other odds and ends we needed.

At home, she worked on some homework, while I tidied up the kitchen and set the table. Ken would pick up the pizzas that I had already ordered on his way home and then we could eat.

The boys crashed through the door, still wired from soccer. Ken followed behind with all the bags and two boxes of pizza. I got them on the table and started to serve the food. I asked Ben (knowing that I had ordered a special olive pizza for him), "Do you want...pepperoni {opening the box} or...ONIONS?!?!

I had called and ordered one pizza with pepperoni (check) and one with olives. "Just olives?" the guy asked.

"Just olives," I replied.

And then (I can see it in my head) he circled the "O" for olives and passed along the order to the chef.

Do you see where this went wrong??

The birthday boy was NOT happy!

Ken volunteered to run back to the restaurant, while I called and explained what had happened. The lady on the phone promised to get an OLIVE pizza started right away.

We don't live far from the restaurant, but the waiting time was a bit awkward. The kids and I were hungry, but I didn't think it would be very nice to start eating without Ken. Especially since the main course wasn't even there. We tried chatting a little bit, but everyone was kind of cranky so that didn't really work.

Henry got up to wander the dining room and he found a note on the computer desk.

"Who scribbled on this!?!" he yelled, holding up a scrap of paper with his user name and password for an online game.

"I have no idea, sweetheart. Why does it matter?"

"This paper is important! And they scribbled on it!"

"Honey, they scribbled on the bottom, you can still read what you need to." I couldn't figure out what was so offensive about a little pen mark on his paper.

"But they could have scribbled on my password!!"

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. "You're upset about something that could have happened, but didn't?"

I wish I could say that he let go of his annoyance, but the reality is that he was too tired to see clearly and he hung on to it.

I tried not to make it a big deal. I offered him a hug and I told all three kids, "If you look around for things that will make you mad, you'll find a whole lot of them. But if you look around for things to be grateful for, that's what you'll see."

And then the pizza showed up and we had dinner and ate cookies and went to bed. Because the real reality is that sometimes the teachable moments don't show up at a time when the students are ready to learn. But at least Benjamin had a happy birthday!

This post has been brought to you by the #1Word Blog Challenge. This week the words were reality and offensive. You can find more details or link up here:

It's Nice to be Appreciated, but can we Schedule it when I'm not so busy?!

If I move around a couple of things on my desk so I can get to my calendar, I can see that today is Administrative Professionals' Day. Woohoo! That's me!! I have a program to go to this morning and I'm getting a certificate for completing a series of training workshops. It's only taken me about two and a half years to finish it! And technically I still have one class left, but they're letting me "graduate" anyway as long as I promise to finish that class this summer.

Looking at the calendar on my computer, I can barely see the graduation program through all the other things scheduled. I work in academia, so this is the big push to finish up the semester. It's also when we start the count down to the end of the budget year. Our office is hiring seven students for next year and that entails 12 interviews. I also have two trainings this week and next week to go to. I'm sure there are other things I'm forgetting. My planner is pretty ridiculous at this point.

There's also lots going on at home. While the hours don't overlap, the space in my brain does and it's getting harder to keep track of all the things that need to happen.  There's a workshop called Healthy Brains/ Healthy Child going on tonight at my daughter's school. I was really looking forward to it. Especially because dinner and childcare are provided. That's my love language, right there!!

Just this morning, however, I realized that it's not likely to work out. Henry meets with his big sister today and doesn't get home til 5:30. Frances has a program with her after-school group that goes until 6. Ken could keep the kids and let me go by myself, but we've only got one vehicle right now and he wouldn't have a way to pick them up.

It's nice to be appreciated, but I'm wondering if this couldn't be scheduled at a better time of year?

I'm linking up with the 1 Word Blog challenge. This week's words are forgotten and ridiculous.

Beauty or Blahs: Which do you Choose?

Ugh!

I'm tired. I did not sleep well last night. I was up twice; once for the bathroom and once to re-cover a cold child. I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning.

Also? We have a dead fish. The kids didn't notice (They think he's hiding in the Dumdum head) so I am going to attempt my first fish swap on my lunch break.

RIP Little Cutie (He's one of the tiger barbs at the base of the plants. I can't tell them apart and I hope the kids can't either!

Things That Make You Go HUH?!

I went home yesterday to get dinner started before I picked up the kids. I didn't really have anything planned, and I hadn't taken anything out of the freezer. I found some ham slices that would be relatively easy to defrost and set about figuring out what to have as sides.

9 Tips for More Peaceful Mornings

We've survived the first week after daylight savings time began, some of us just barely! I know that even as recently as yesterday, I've been struggling to wake up in the mornings. So what can be done about it? Well, you could petition your local legislature to abolish DST. Many localities are looking to do away with the plan, but we all know that the wheels of justice turn very slowly, so how about a solution in the meantime??

Here's Lookin' at you Kid!

Here's the thing. At least once a year I have an week or two of awful allergy symptoms: runny nose, itchy eyes, scratchy throat. If I catch it early enough I can start my allergy meds and shorten the time period, but it's usually something I have to suffer through for at least a little bit. The worst part, though, is the week after the symptoms subside. I know that sounds strange, but bear with me. 

The week after the allergy symptoms ease off is the week I lose my voice. I feel fine, I just can't talk, which is a real problem for a blabber mouth with kids. I get all the sympathy that I wished for the week before and I have to parent with a series of finger snaps and "looks."  You know? THE LOOK??

I'll show you.
This look says, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" or "Have you lost your mind?!"

This one says, "That was NOT a good idea!"

This one says "Are you really going to try to talk your way out of this?"

 

This one says, "I'm not buying it. You might as well give up!" or possibly, "What did you think would happen when you tried that?"

Obviously, this one says, "Good night! I've had enough for today!"

And just for funsies, this one says, "It's really dark in the kitchen this afternoon. Maybe I shouldn't wear my sunglasses inside! Duh!!" (Yes that really happened!)

 
There are some days I really think I've lost my mind. I get tired of saying the same thing over and over again. I have nothing left to fall back on but a series of looks that the kids know all too well at this point. 

I'm going to do a little word math with you and explain something that I think we all know:

Insanity=Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Parenting=Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Therefore, by the transitive property of equality,

Parenting=Insanity

Don't be mad at me. I'm just pointing out the truth!

I'm double dipping on the linkys today, 'cause I'm a bada$$ like that!
If you want to talk #MommyReality and #DatLook head over here. 

If you want to join the #1Word Challenge, head here.