Beware of Flat Surfaces #MommyReality

Furniture. It's necessity for any house. You need beds and dressers in the bedrooms. Couches and chairs go in the living room. The dining room should have a a table and chairs where a family can sit and enjoy a meal together. But there is one piece of furniture that you will not find in my house: a coffee table.

For one, I don't even drink coffee! Wait! That's not what they're for. I know that! Silly me! Coffee tables are not for drinking coffee. They are a place to collect junk. And that is why I don't have one. I don't really need another place to collect junk.

As a matter of fact, every single flat surface in my house is a place to collect junk! The mantle over the fireplace? It displays a nice mirror, some candles, my diffuser, and a few toys that are in time out. The side of the tub? That's where we store shampoo and shave gel. And empty bottles that I keep forgetting to recycle. The TV trays in the living room? Those collect mail, my keys and phone, and various other odds and ends unless I fold them down and put them out of the way.

I swear, every flat surface in my house becomes overrun with stuff! Even the places you wouldn't necessarily expect. The 2 inch wide flat piece at the top of our bed frame? It holds a box of tissues and a water bottle. I used to put my glasses there after reading in bed at night until I knocked them off once and scratched the lenses.

The top of the entertainment center? There's a poster and a kids' toy up there. I don't even remember how or why they got there! I just know it's been a while.

We have a heater in the bathroom. The top of it is maybe a 6 inch diameter oval. It accumulates earrings, necklaces, and hair ties until I need them again or remember to put them away.

Even when I clean off my dressers, there are things that stay on top just because I don't have a better place to put them. The desk in the dining room is covered with pens, markers, and sewing implements. If there was a way to ensure that things would stay put, I would probably start putting things on top of the fan blades! {Please note: I am entirely too short to store things on the fan blades. This is the real reason they are not cluttered.}

It's a serious issue with me. I'm working on it and trying to train myself to put things where they belong, but it's a slow, slow process.

So even though my first thought was to name laundry as my nemesis, after some serious thought and a quick stroll around my house. It has become all too obvious that my real nemesis is: FLAT SURFACES!!!

...and cute kids. They are my other weakness.

I'm linking up for #MommyReality with JENerallyinformed.com and LeapfrogsandLipgloss.com. Mom's might not all be super heroes, but you can bet we've each got a nemesis!

My Kitchen View

I had a wonderful birthday weekend! My parents came up on Thursday and took us out to dinner. Friday I had the day off from work and my mom and I spent the day shopping. I got a new phone, some new (to me) clothes, fixed my windshield wipers, and finally got replacement blinds for my living room. We did a lot of driving around, but it gave us a good chance to chat and have fun together.

Here's Lookin' at you Kid!

Here's the thing. At least once a year I have an week or two of awful allergy symptoms: runny nose, itchy eyes, scratchy throat. If I catch it early enough I can start my allergy meds and shorten the time period, but it's usually something I have to suffer through for at least a little bit. The worst part, though, is the week after the symptoms subside. I know that sounds strange, but bear with me. 

The week after the allergy symptoms ease off is the week I lose my voice. I feel fine, I just can't talk, which is a real problem for a blabber mouth with kids. I get all the sympathy that I wished for the week before and I have to parent with a series of finger snaps and "looks."  You know? THE LOOK??

I'll show you.
This look says, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" or "Have you lost your mind?!"

This one says, "That was NOT a good idea!"

This one says "Are you really going to try to talk your way out of this?"

 

This one says, "I'm not buying it. You might as well give up!" or possibly, "What did you think would happen when you tried that?"

Obviously, this one says, "Good night! I've had enough for today!"

And just for funsies, this one says, "It's really dark in the kitchen this afternoon. Maybe I shouldn't wear my sunglasses inside! Duh!!" (Yes that really happened!)

 
There are some days I really think I've lost my mind. I get tired of saying the same thing over and over again. I have nothing left to fall back on but a series of looks that the kids know all too well at this point. 

I'm going to do a little word math with you and explain something that I think we all know:

Insanity=Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Parenting=Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Therefore, by the transitive property of equality,

Parenting=Insanity

Don't be mad at me. I'm just pointing out the truth!

I'm double dipping on the linkys today, 'cause I'm a bada$$ like that!
If you want to talk #MommyReality and #DatLook head over here. 

If you want to join the #1Word Challenge, head here.