Meeting Glennon from Momastery!

Yesterday afternoon, I had the opportunity to hear Glennon Melton of Momastery speak here at JMU.  I have read her blog for a long time and have also had the honor of participating in a few of her "love flash mobs."

I don't want to tell Glennon's story, because that's her job, but you can read her stuff over at her blog. If you haven't already, you really should go over there and spend some time.  Go no...I'll wait...Her goal is to help women build community between themselves and to spread love and acceptance. 

One of the topics that Glennon touched on yesterday was the idea of being still.  Seeing as that was the theme of the Cursillo retreat I recently attended, those words have been on my mind and in my heart constantly lately.  To be completely honest, I had an entire post planned on the topic myself.  Those words are words that I need to speak to myself on a regular basis.  I even bought a ring on the retreat to help me to remember. (Alas, the ring slipped off my finger while changing sheets or doing laundry last week. St. Anthony and I are still working on that!)

Lost somewhere is the laundry of bed sheets (I hope)

Glennon has a tattoo of the words "be still" on her wrist.  I had a ring with those words on my hand.  Being still is still not an easy concept for me (or for many other women, I'll bet).  I have a husband, a job, three kids, and I'm trying to have a life myself as well.  There aren't many moments that I am able to just be still, unless I force myself. 

I have been waking up early lately, even before this weekend's time change, although this morning was earlier than usual.  Sometimes when I wake up early I try to go back to sleep.  Sometimes I get up and go start on some chores, or get online to waste time (the latter being more likely).  Lately, though, I've been trying to just enjoy the stillness.  I can say my prayers or listen to kids or Ken breathing. I can hear birds outside, or cars, or the heater coming on.  I take the time to appreciate all of those things and sometimes, I try really hard to just listen to the stillness.

This morning, the message of being still came to me again.  And I asked myself, "How can I be still if I have to get ready for work? How can I be still if I have to check the backpacks and run the laundry and wash the dishes?  How can I remember to be still if I lost the ring that tells me to be still??" And then I yell, "STOP" inside my head and I force myself to stop worrying and thinking and planning and just be. 

I feel like God keeps calling me to be still through different people and occurrences.  He apparently has something important He's trying to tell me.  I am working on trying to figure that out.  But it occurs to me that maybe that is the message.  Maybe the message doesn't come after I've learned to calm my mind and actions and be still.  Maybe the message is to just be still. 

Deserae, Me, Glennon!

Five Minute Friday: Together

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

Five minutes on together...
I had a wonderful retreat last weekend.  It was an amazing time to be surrounded by the Holy Spirit and so many like-minded sisters in Christ.  But I have found that the follow up is just as good, or even better!  Part of the Cursillo model focuses on what happens after the retreat.  People have been keeping in touch with me; reminding me of the love and fellowship that we learned about and experienced.  Facebook and email certainly make this easier than after the retreats I attended in high school six million years ago.

Another part of the experience is the small groups afterwards.  I'll be honest, I haven't quite found my small group yet.  Unless by "small" you mean two people, because Julie and I are meeting up on Sunday.  Ideally, we could have a few more people to meet with and share with.  I am actively working towards that goal, but I also don't want to force it.  I trust that it will come.

Getting together with anyone is difficult for me (and for lots of moms, I'm sure, but I try not to speak for other people here).  I work an 8-5, but Ken does not.  He works lots of nights and weekends, so we don't get to see him as often as we would like.  It also means that I am always "on" in terms of child care.

I am looking forward to my extra-small group on Sunday and I am looking forward to growing it and moving forward with it. 

Finding the Sacred in the Profane

My calendar says I am supposed to write a post about my retreat this past weekend.  That's fine, but looking at my calendar now and seeing my Cursillo mentioned for just this one day is odd.  It's like having this one little blip and then life goes back to normal.  But that's not what is supposed to happen and that certainly isn't what I want to have happen.  I went on the retreat for renewal and change, so I hope that my life is drastically different now. 

Coming home was interesting.  I was tired and overwhelmed, but also excited to see my family again.  Ken came out to meet me and I hugged him tight.  That was quiet and peaceful.  Then I walked in the house and the kids screamed "MOMMYY!!" and jumped all over me. That's pretty much what I expected and I truly was fine with it.  I was happy to see them and glad that they had missed me, but otherwise made it though the weekend just fine.

The rest of the evening was loud and crazy.  The kids yelled and fought with each other. There was a potty accident.  Certain children refused to put on their pajamas. Bedtime was scattered and stressful.  In other words, last evening was normal. 

That's my challenge.  To be a different person in the same world.  To be a different person, but also to be the same Rabia that I've always been.  Or rather, me; but better.  Is that possible?

There was a woman at my table who told a story about finding pennies on the sidewalk or in the grass and taking them as a message to her.  That's not unusual, honestly.  I've heard that sentiment from lots of people.  What is odd, though, is that shortly after she shared that idea with me, one of the speakers also told a similar story.  And then I started finding pennies. 

We had a moment as a table group to pray together outside.  A leaf fell from the sky right onto our prayer space.  It was a beautiful yellow leaf with one red spot in the middle.  A table-mate likened that spot to a drop of Christ's blood. 

Julie and I took a walk through the woods up on the mountain.  Two out-of-the-ordinary things happened.  First, we spoke to each other for 45 minutes straight without a child needing potty assistance or otherwise being interrupted!  Secondly, just as we were finishing our second lap and getting ready to head back to the main room, we saw a deer in our path.  We stood and watched each other for a bit before heading on with our respective business.

Those three very normal, yet very profound occurrences touched me very deeply.  I will never again find a penny on the ground without thinking of Donna and Kate and Cursillo.  Leaves falling will forever remind me of praying together in our group and finding Jesus among us.  Deer will cross my path and I will thank God for the beautiful friendship that Julie and I share and the way were were able to deepen our faith together.

I have found the sacred in the profane. My goal is to continue to seek out the sacred in my every day life.  Even when the kids are fighting or resisting me.  In those instances, I will be the same mommy, but better.

De Colores!!