Kids: The Owner's Manual is Missing

As a mom, I am perpetually confused.

• Why must kids be dragged out of bed Monday through Friday, yet the same kids jump out of bed wild and raring to go on Saturdays and Sundays?
• How can a child decide that he doesn't like peanut butter all of a sudden even though he's been requesting it daily for 6 months?
• I can look a child in the yes and ask {twice} if clothes are picked out for the next day, and then in the morning be told there are no clean underpants. What?!
• Some days a child will begging for me to get him dressed and some days he screams at me when I try to help him because "I can dooooooooo it!"
• If I pick up the kids early from after care, they cry because they "aren't finished playing," but if I pick them up late they get mad because they had to wait so long.
• Remembering lunch boxes, musical instruments, signed paperwork, and pairs of mitten is evidently too taxing on the brain; but the same children can remember a reward I casually mentioned three weeks ago.

I have a degree in Psychology and an endorsement in Education. I have taught and worked with children for 15 years and been a mother for 11. And I still just don't get it! I am trying to be a good mom. I try to be consistent in what I do and how I react. I want to nurture a feeling of security in my kids and to let them know I am always there for them. But to be honest, I'm just confused. I don't know which days to plan early morning fun and which days to try and sleep in. I don't know what groceries to buy or which laundry to triage to the next load. I don't know when to offer help or when to step back. I don't know when to arrive early or when to let them stay late.

I feel guilty when I make the wrong call, but then I feel silly because there's just no way to predict these moods. My brain is exhausted from trying to stave off the inevitable meltdowns and tantrums. And there are days that it breaks me. There has been some begging for attention at my house. I recognize it quite readily, but I can't always remedy it as immediately. I left work right on time on Monday and decided to alter my pick up routine to pick up someone first and get in some extra hugs and snuggles. Instead, I arrived to tears and "I'm not ready yet!" So I turned around defeated and felt my own tears coming as I walked to the van.

I just can't get it right and I hate feeling so out of sync and confused. I want to be able to offer the comfort that is needed, while also allowing the freedoms that are craved. I keep looking for an answer and resigning myself to the fact that maybe there isn't one. Maybe we just have to take it one day at a time and make what we think is the right choice and deal with the consequences. And maybe tomorrow I'll guess correctly and we'll have smiles instead of tears for a while.

Is there an owner's manual I forgot to read somewhere?

I'm linking up today with Lisa's One Word Challenge. The word choices were tomorrow, guilty, and confused. This week I fit them all in!  Did you find them?