Friday, January 30, 2015

The Waiting Game: One I Hate Playing

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a patient person. I've even had people compliment me on my patience. Usually after watching me deal with a child's public meltdown without yelling or screaming. I think it's great that I've fooled so many people into thinking I'm patient, but I'm just not.

In fact, one of the worst words to ever say to me is "wait." I hate it. Wait is worse than "no." At least with no there is closure. It ain't gonna happen, so just move on.  Wait, on the other hand means that it will likely happen, but not for a while. That makes my head explode.

The ammonia is too high in our fish tank right now. We lost a fish because of it. :( The fish experts at the pet store told me to do some water changes, trouble up the rocks at the bottom and clean them out good. We're also supposed to stop feeding the fish for a few days at a time. And then the dreaded word: wait! I don't want to wait! I want the tank to be better so the fish will be okay!
fish tank mermaid
I'm trying to fix your home, fishies. I promise!

We're trying hard to manage our finances and make good money choices. And I know that relief is coming. Especially when Ben goes to Kindergarten and we no longer have a day care bill. But until then...we wait. I can see the burden being lifted, but it hasn't happened yet. I don't want to be patient! I want to be debt-free!

We had a recent upset in plans. Something we had both hoped for and prayed for was not meant to be. I spent almost a full two days crying about the loss (of something we never really had). Lots of people reminded me that God has good things in store for us. And while I fully believe that, I get tired of waiting for those things to come! I want them now!!

I guess it's good that most people perceive me as a patient person. On the outside, I guess I am. But on the inside, I get agitated when I have to wait. And I'll just go ahead and assume that's how God is teaching me patience.


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